ako pa din ang pinili mong saktan...

pinangako mo na hinding hindi mo na ako sasaktan...

...na ako ang aalagaan mo at patutunayang mahal.

pero sa pangalawang pagkakataon,

ako pa din pla ang sasaktan mo....

muntik na ako maniwala syo...

na ako ang mahal mo...

you made your choice for the nth time...and you chose to hurt me AGAIN.

i will not let you ever in my life again....

tama na...

i will not let you hurt me anymore...

aren't you tired of hurting me?  aren't you done with me yet?  aren't my tears before enough to feed your ego?  want do you want?  if your purpose it to make me cry in defeat again, yes, you've just won that...

bat ka pa bumalik? bat mo sasabihin na nagkamali ka at ako ang mahal mo? but then you can't even leave her...sabi mo papatunayan mo na mahal mo ako...but then after 1 day...again, you are nowhere to be found!  you only say that you love me...ksi kelangan mo ako...para ayusin ang napakagulo mong buhay ngayon...

bumalik ka para saktan ako ulit? ganun ka ba kawalang konsensya? i may be okay...i may have picked up a few pieces of myself already, pero ano akala mo sa akin? walang pakiramdam? wala akong ginawang masama syo for you to treat me this way...sobrang bad ka...sobrang selfish ka...

i am sooo tired of what you are doing to me...no matter how much it still hurts, no matter how hard it would be...i am going to be firm now....i will forget you, just you wait and see...you don't exist and you never existed!

today...is supposedly the day we're going to celebrate our 2nd anniversary...but you threw it all away...

today...is also exactly the 3rd month from the day you left me for another girl...

you already chose your path...you chose to break my heart...don't come running back and don't you ever tell me that you miss me...those are just lies...you are one pathological liar.

i saw your pictures...and her comments...and how happy you are that as if i don't exist and that i never existed.

to me...you are good as dead.  you no longer exist.

i know you're happy now...what sucks is that i'm not a part of it.

we promised that we will celebrate everything together...but where are you now?

beb i miss you so much :(

i miss you so much and i can't do anything about it.

i miss you so much and i can't even greet you now.

i miss you so much that it hurts so much.

i miss you so much and i stil do not know how i can get through my life without you.

what happened? what really happened between us?

who are you with now? is she pretty? is she nice? does she love you more than i do?

i still love you denver...what sucks more is no matter how much you've hurt me is that i still love you...with all my heart and my soul.

:(

allen...it's your birthday today...be happy...or try to at least look like one.

today's my worst bday ever...thanks to you my ex.

it's my birthday tomorrow and you've given me the worst gift ever...

a heartache...

we planned to celebrate our birthdays, our anniversary and christmas and new yr together...we never celebrated those together bec. either you were in your hometown or i was in a different country...then, i went home for us...but you just threw everything away...you are the worst thing that ever happened to me...user.

It's been 2 months from the day you left me...from the day i asked you to think if you really love me and your answer was "pahinga muna tayo."  That was a lie...you left me for somebody else.  You can deny that to others, to me and even to yourself.  We both know the truth...God knows the truth...whatever was and is in your heart.

It's been 2 months from that day...and this should have been our 23rd monthsary.  We should have been celebrating this with love and happiness...but you chose your path already.  You chose yourself...and someone else.

I'm not sure if this will be the case for the next few days, but for now, I can say that:

It's been 2 months from that day...and i'm okay...I'm okay.

Pain, it comes in all forms. The small twinge, a bit of soreness, the random pain, the normal pains that we live with everyday. Then there's the kind of pain you can't ignore. A level of pain so great that it blocks out everything else; makes the rest of your world fade away until all we can think about is how much we hurt. How we manage our pain is up to us. Pain. We anaesthetize, ride it out, embrace it, ignore it... and for some of us, the best way to manage pain is to just push through it. - MG, Grey's Anatomy

You just don't know how much pain you've given me...I still miss you.  I still miss how we were before...at the end of the day, i still cry.  I am wishing that someday, this will stop....and that "someday"  would be soon.